Divorce is very common today, even among those who call themselves Christians. Marriages are dissolved very frequently, and serious damage results to those involved. Children are often the most seriously affected by these events. The trauma of shuttling between two families, the anger and venom spewed forth by one or both parents, the forced moves to new homes, missing the absent parent – these and many other things are the consequences of divorce, and they often lead to other serious problems in the lives of the children, and the parents.
Few realize what the impact a decision to divorce will have on themselves or on their children "down the road". The decision to divorce is often made in haste, and for the wrong reasons. Much of this is likely caused by a decision to marry that was also based on a less than a solid rationale. Today, more than ever, we need to rethink what we are doing in this area. We need to be far more careful about why we marry and why we divorce.
YAHWEH has some particular views on the subject of divorce that are important to consider when one is facing such a potential. They are doubly important for one who considers himself or herself to be a Believer. The only basis for a legitimate divorce, biblically speaking, is adultery. Adultery is unfaithfulness to one’s spouse. And while it typically is seen as a physical act between one’s own spouse and another person outside the marriage, adultery can also be any act that violates the implicit trust of a relationship. It is the act of giving yourself, physically, mentally, or emotionally, to someone other than your marriage partner, one with whom you have entered into a covenant relationship. It is a violation of the commitment you made to each other when you joined yourselves together in the relationship.
Please review these Scripture passages carefully, and prayerfully. Ask YAHWEH to guide you in your decisions. Ask Him to give you the wisdom, the grace, the humility, and the mercy you need to help you deal with your relationship. Perhaps you will come to understand His desire as more important than your own.
Deut. 24:1 When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it comes to pass that she finds no favour in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it into her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. 3 And if the latter husband hates her, and writes her a bill of divorcement, and gives it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband dies, which took her to be his wife; 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she is defiled; for that is abomination before Yahweh: and you shalt not cause the land to sin, which Yahweh your God gives thee for an inheritance.
(Note: This is a specific instruction to Israel - be careful how you apply this. See Matt. 19.3 below.)
Jer. 3:6 YAHWEH said also to me in the days of Josiah the king, Have you seen that which backsliding Israel has done? She has gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there has played the harlot. 7 And I said after she had done all these things, Turn to Me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. 9 And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. 10 And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned unto Me with her whole heart, but feignedly, says Yahweh. 11 And YAHWEH said to me, The backsliding Israel has justified herself more than treacherous Judah.
(This is also specific to Israel, but note its connotations regarding adultery.)
Mal. 2:16 “For YAHWEH, Elohim (God) of Israel, says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says YAHWEH Of Assemblies. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
Matt. 5:31 It has been said, Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce: 32 But I say unto you that who ever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and who ever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.
Matt. 19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him (YAHUSHUA), tempting Him, and saying to Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, 'For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?' 6 Therefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore YAHWEH has joined together, let not man put asunder." 7 They said unto Him, "Why did Moses, then, command to give a writing of divorce, and to put her away?" 8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except if it is for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her which is put away commits adultery."
1Cor. 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but YAHWEH, let not the wife depart from her husband. 11 But if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband; and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not YAHWEH: If any brother has a wife that believes not, and she is pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman who has a husband that believes not, and if he is pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: otherwise your children are unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving departs, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but YAHWEH has called us to peace. 16 For what do you know, wife, whether you shall save your husband? Or how do you know, man, whether you shall save your wife?